Bill Hicks was not just a comedian. He changed the entire comedy game, Hicks was a deep thinker, an honest man who saw right through the shady political system in America and indeed the whole world. Since Bill Hicks comedians can no longer just walk out on to tage and be funny, now every comedian strives to have a political or existential message behind their performance. But few could come close to the stark and unhinged comedy of Bill Hicks. His frustration and anger with the world became his poetry and audiences often didn’t know how to respond to him. Hicks was an incredible thinker, and genuinely compassionate citizen of the world and above all else a very funny man. To salute one of the greatest men to have ever lived on this Earth we give you 16 brilliant quotes from the late and great comedian Bill Hicks
1.
If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour: don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.
2.
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.
3.
Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.
4.
Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.
5.
I don’t do drugs anymore… than, say, the average touring funk band.
6.
I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
7.
I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, “What’s wrong?” Nothing. “Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.” Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
8.
I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA…seventy-nine! Let’s go over those numbers again, they’re a little baffling at first. Iraq, 150,000, USA 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, “I did it! Hey!”
9.
I don’t know what you all believe, and I don’t really care … but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks … you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?
10.
Guys, you know what I’m talking about. I can speak for any guy here tonight: guys, if you could blow yourselves? Ladies, you’d be here alone right now…watching an empty stage.
11.
I think it’s interesting the two drugs that are legal, alcohol and cigarettes, two drugs that do absolutely nothing for you at all; and the drugs that might open your mind up to realize how badly you’re being fucked every day of your life? … Those drugs are against the law. Coincidence?
12.
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
13.
They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you’re high, you can do everything you normally do just as well – you just realize that it’s not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.
14.
People tell me, ‘Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime — who cares? Just let it go.’ I say, ‘All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?’
15.
Go back to bed, America. Your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control again. Here. Here’s American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up. Go back to bed, America. Here is American Gladiators. Here is 56 channels of it! Watch these pituitary retards bang their fucking skulls together and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom. Here you go, America! You are free to do as we tell you! You are free to do what we tell you!
16.
The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it’s real because that’s how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it’s very brightly colored, and it’s very loud, and it’s fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, “Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?” And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, “Hey, don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.” And we … kill those people. “Shut him up! I’ve got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.” It’s just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn’t matter, because it’s just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here’s what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.
I got boob 